Weight

Weight.....
ugh even sayin the word makes my stomach turn. I wish it wasn't even an issue. People say just be happy with who you are and I am until I see a really cute pair of jeans or shirt that doesn't come in my size or when I go shopping and go to put on the size I usually buy and they don't fit! This topic is so hard for me all my life I have struggled with my weight (as many girls do) and I look back now and think how stupid I was complaining that I was 130 lbs! I thought that was fat! I have had two kids and haven't lost any 'baby weight' and I have no motivation to go to a gym for hours, or suffer the pain of working out. It doesn't help that there is soo much good food out there and ALL of it is bad for you. I don't want to count calories or carbs. I want a quick fix and I'm not afraid to admit it.
My latest struggle is that I smoked for a good 10 years or longer and I finally quit, it was hard and now the next demon is coke ( the sweet fizzy caffeine sugar filled drink) I could drink coke all day forget boring water! I can't give it up! I am going to put in my will that I want to be hooked up to an I.V. with coke and I would be happy. So if anyone has any suggestions or has had the same problem, I'm all ears!!
Now onto the part about what to eat.... my brain cannot process eating a head of lettuce all day every day. Also I CANNOT cook! So trying to figure out what is healthy to cook (if a got a chance to cook, every time I have tried I swear Kaylee knows and cries the whole time) is a challenge in it self. I was blessed and cursed with a husband that is an AWESOME  cook I tease him that it's his fault I gained weight. I don't care to pay attention to serving sizes, carbs, calories, or fat content. When I go to eat I want something that is good and i will eat til I'm full, that's all I'm worried about. Oh and also how fast I can eat it before someone needs something or starts cryin. So I guess until I find a miracle drug out there, can afford a surgery, and finally get to that 'can't take it anymore' place.....I will continue to ride this roller coaster of content and misery. All I ask is that you love me for me and not my pant size.

Does Everyone Have Money Troubles.....?

I wonder if everyone has money problems (besides the rich obviously). Is it just us? I keep putting out in the universe that we will be financially free one day, (if you have ever heard about 'the secret')(trying to believe in it at the same time) then you know what I mean. I have boodah's throughout the house, etc. I don't expect things to just fall out of the sky and no we don't budget like we should so I KNOW IT'S OUR FAULT. We get into these modes where you go to the store and REALLY need something that you probably shouldn't get a just say screw it I'm getting it anyway. I don't want fancy cars, a mansion, or designer clothes. I don't care about getting my nails done, or going to the salon every month. I just want to be comfortable...meaning you have a major car repair or house repair I would like to know that we could pay it and be ok. I don't want people calling all day threatening to take you to court, and not having to figure out how to cut your own hair because it's been a year since the last time you went, food or diapers. I just wonder how everyone else doesn't seem to have this problem. Where did we go wrong in the beginning. I don't envy anyone else because you never know what goes on behind the doors and someone else might be going through a different kind of problem. One day our day will come and I will look back and be grateful for what I was taught through all of this and will be able to really appreciate where we have come from. Please let it come fast though!!! :)