Weight.....
ugh even sayin the word makes my stomach turn. I wish it wasn't even an issue. People say just be happy with who you are and I am until I see a really cute pair of jeans or shirt that doesn't come in my size or when I go shopping and go to put on the size I usually buy and they don't fit! This topic is so hard for me all my life I have struggled with my weight (as many girls do) and I look back now and think how stupid I was complaining that I was 130 lbs! I thought that was fat! I have had two kids and haven't lost any 'baby weight' and I have no motivation to go to a gym for hours, or suffer the pain of working out. It doesn't help that there is soo much good food out there and ALL of it is bad for you. I don't want to count calories or carbs. I want a quick fix and I'm not afraid to admit it.
My latest struggle is that I smoked for a good 10 years or longer and I finally quit, it was hard and now the next demon is coke ( the sweet fizzy caffeine sugar filled drink) I could drink coke all day forget boring water! I can't give it up! I am going to put in my will that I want to be hooked up to an I.V. with coke and I would be happy. So if anyone has any suggestions or has had the same problem, I'm all ears!!
Now onto the part about what to eat.... my brain cannot process eating a head of lettuce all day every day. Also I CANNOT cook! So trying to figure out what is healthy to cook (if a got a chance to cook, every time I have tried I swear Kaylee knows and cries the whole time) is a challenge in it self. I was blessed and cursed with a husband that is an AWESOME cook I tease him that it's his fault I gained weight. I don't care to pay attention to serving sizes, carbs, calories, or fat content. When I go to eat I want something that is good and i will eat til I'm full, that's all I'm worried about. Oh and also how fast I can eat it before someone needs something or starts cryin. So I guess until I find a miracle drug out there, can afford a surgery, and finally get to that 'can't take it anymore' place.....I will continue to ride this roller coaster of content and misery. All I ask is that you love me for me and not my pant size.
I wish weight wasn't such an issue. It's such a pain....I am happy being fat, but my insides and knees and back aren't. I hate cooking too-I can't wait for Dan to get home and cook me a ginormous breakfast :) Don't beat yourself up, I think you look great, I can't wait for the day I can fit in the jeans you let me borrow. I still feel like 100 pounds of potatoes in a 5 lb. sack :)
ReplyDeleteIts kinda weird reading your blog. Not bad weird, like WOAH weird, because almost everything you write, I could have written if I were more brave, Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteJeanna.. Lets have a cooking session.. Not to toot my own horn but im an amazing cook! I cook all of Jasons meals on Saturday and send a week or 2 worth with him back to wyo.. I have easy yummy recipes.. Just let me know if you want any!!
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