Monday, November 15, 2010
Time Out.....
Lately I feel like I should be distancing myself more and more from people. No matter how hard I try to please people it's not enough, or not the right thing. I keep trying to make people happy because it makes me happy to know I have helped someone or brightened their day. It seems it has gotten harder and harder to do. I am frustrated and worn out. I'm broken and bruised. I wear a plastic smile quite well. No one would see the defeat. I feel selfish for even writing about it, but I have finally reached that limit. So I am apologizing in advance if I haven't been able to be the person, friend, sister, daughter, wife, or mom you've needed. I'm sorry if what you've needed from me isn't or wasn't good enough. I don't want a pity trip either. But I am going taking a second even if it's A second.... to breathe. I can't keep giving and be left standing alone. Pieces of me have been taken and there's no one around. Maybe I'm expecting too much, setting myself up for failure. I know I'll soon be fine, but for now I need some time....for me.
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oh jeanna, i do hope all will be well. i know those feelings all too much. if you need anything, even if just to talk, please call. 897-4326. please. or send me your number and i will call you!
ReplyDeleteJeanna, I get that way all the time. Don't feel guilty fo needing time, One of the things I have learned in my 7 and a half years of Marriage and mommy-hood is that if you get to the point when u have given everything you have and you feel like there is nothing left to stop.. Have a relaxing moment.. Stay up extra late after everyone is in bed and watch a movie.. Drink a cup of hot chocolate and sit out on the porch in te middle of the night and just listen to the peacefulness of the night sky. You need to be you for a minute. Take off your mommy and wife hats and just be you. Once I do that I can go back to the daily Grind. I just need to remind myself of who I am and then im fine. we need to have a girls night.. Watch movies eat junkfood and laugh our asses off!! Dont feel gulty.. Remembering who you are makes bieng who you've become much easier.. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for all the love and support it really means a lot!!
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